to whoever has followed my blog thus far:
our dear little son, Emeth Lander Robins, has gone ahead to heaven and is precious in the arms of Jesus now. he passed at 29 weeks in-utero. we mourn his going - it's very hard to lose a first-born. it's very hard to lose a little one you've surrounded and held and nourished for 7 months. we've grieved well, though. we know this much. and how long has it been now since July 7th when i delivered his little body? ... let me check... 7 weeks. i was so proud to hold him and to be a mother. he was beautiful - 2 pounds 9 ounces - 15 inches long. had his daddy's hands and eyes, his grandpa's feet, his mommy's nose, mouth & chin, his grandma's nose... he was just perfect and tiny. we held him and loved him for a day, blessed and baptized him at a family memorial service, then let him go. i think that kissing his little chilly head and leaving him in the nurse's arms and walking out of the hospital with a little yellow box containing hand/foot prints, his hospital tags, and a little blue cap was the hardest thing i've ever done in my life.
yet we have grieved well. and the Lord has been so so good to us through this all.
here is something i never knew until July 7th: if you ever hear that someone has lost a little one, please take the time to ask questions... what did he/she look like? did you name him? was she just beautiful? tell me about the delivery. do you have pictures i could see? who was there with you? who was the nurse you left her with at the hospital? did you like that nurse? what was the kindest thing someone's done for you in this grief? show me, with your hands, how big your baby was. so when you held him, he was about this big? tell me about how you first found out. what were some of the things you'd done to get ready for her? did you have a crib waiting? was there something very special you'd gotten just for him? something you'd made? what did you pray over your baby while she was in the womb?
i start to wonder how many people i haven't done this for. i hope i remember from now on.
3 comments:
Thank you for sharing about Emeth, Carrie. And thank you for encouraging others not to fear entering the inner court of a grieving parent's sorrow. I realize people mean well when they give space, but if the bereaved ones don't want to talk about it, they can always say as much. In any case, the asking is an affirming of a beloved child's worth.
I'm praying for you. I've never been in your exact situation, but I do know from our experience with our first-born son that grief and the deep sense of loss continue to ebb and flow. I also know that God's grace rises higher than the highest tides, keeping the rock beneath our feet and holding us on it.
Peace of Christ to you, with all my heart.
I am just heartbroken for you. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I know that God is faithful and will see you through this time. He has brought you to my thoughts and prayers over the last couple of months and I have prayed for you not knowing what was going on. I now pray for you and your husbandlove as God guides you through this valley. May you know how to minister to Emeth's dad and he to you.
I have had Psalm 40:1-3 on my mind as I have thought of you and your baby. "He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth--Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, And will trust in the Lord." I can tell by your post that God has set your feet upon a rock and though the world swirls around you, you have a firm foundation !
I was so blessed to read the details of Emeth's passing to heaven. Thank you so much for sharing them with us. You are in my prayers --- Becky
Oh.... sweet friend. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. Emeth sounds so sweet and perfect, like his mama, picturing him now with his Father in Heaven. Thanking the Lord for His grace that is so obvious in your life. Hoping that some time soon I'll get to see you and hug you and ask you all about your beloved baby boy.
love, carly
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