September 18th

was Emeth's due date. i told Kris yesterday that i would probably be calling her about now, complaining that my feet were so swollen, and about how i felt like a balloon, and about how i wished he would just hurry up and come out! probably he would have been late, since my marmie was always 2 weeks late or so. we'd have the nursery all ready, the glass bottles washed and lined up on a shelf, the changing table set up in the bathroom, the baby announcements ready to mail out after we filled in his date, weight, height and time, the family ready for a call any minute, the camera batteries charged, the hospital bag ready by the door, the little clothes washed and hung in his closet, a teacher lined up to substitute for my students, and all that. i'm probably forgetting something or another in that list.

well: as it is, i'm very comfortable and hardly swollen. i'm honestly not too gung-ho about getting pregnant again because all my memories of pregnancy are sort of normal. they're nothing special. nor are they tramatic, by any means. i think i've healed a lot. i just can't remember the joy of pregnancy, really. probably when i do that little test again someday and come up with a 'positive', i'll get the same flutter i did last time. husbandlove will cry again. i'll send cute little announcements to the family again. i'll sew some baby clothes again. i'll pour over baby-related anything again. i'll be impatient for every single day to pass again. i'll smile when he/she starts the little kicks and flutters. i'll go buy a little bunny doll from "bunnies by the bay" company when i find out if it's a boy or girl again. i'll start knitting another sweater again. and i just had a thought: i'll let myself enjoy this next one just as much as though it were my very first pregnancy. (even though i'm glad it's not!)

in the meantime: husbandlove has bought me a border collie puppy. i am having a blast and being overwhelmed by this puppy! wow. her name is Penny.

bye.